Almost a month later, I have decided to re-activate my blog. I just needed somewhere to type something. I missed being able to ramble on about nothing on a website no one really knows of.
When a person is curious, they automatically try and find the answers themselves. Once they understand or know, it will make it harder for the other party to convince the person to believe otherwise.
I believe that describes me quite well, thoughts run wildly through my mind all day. Some about the world, others about people... perhaps more than you'd think.
Being the girl who is a little more thoughtful than others may suspect... I know, that a part of someone still hasn't let go of another. It is there, where my insecurities are secured.
It'd be a relief convincing myself that the world is perfect, no one is going to get in the way and that life will just sail along as musicians preach to me through my ear phones. I wouldn't say that I'm anticipating for something to happen, but if anything were to, I'd be very much prepared.
Sometimes I wish I was oblivious to my surroundings, that my mind would revert to the 90s, where affairs and nasty remarks were nothing more than just words pieced by letters. Yet, I have a desire to learn. The feeling to seek and understand a person a little deeper, provide myself with a proper conclusion with as many information and point of views I can gather.
However, I always find myself having some sort of regret in doing so... Things never turn out as dandy as it may seem.
Many of us begin saying "there is no such thing as a perfect fairytale" when we're fairly young, but we still dream. So perhaps this is the exact same thing as before, with a variation in context... where I think... it will never happen again, but not resisting when this nightmare grips me around the ankles.
If you think of it this way, a punch to the nose is just tradition in a bar fight, it fades overtime.
No one remembers it, they'll just recall a broken nose... but not exactly how it came about to being broken.
So perhaps... everything will fade overtime, and events will be masked by scars... eventually forgotten. Suppressed in the unconscious, only to be revived in dreams... but interpreted as being strange, with no significance.
I would've ended the blog there, but it would just contradict my beliefs.
Certain events still strike a doubt in my mind sometimes, but I just remind myself that I'm living my life for myself, and now for someone else too. Despite the negatives and criticisms, or as much as the past somewhat haunts me... It should all be left behind and ignored.
I'm super content with my life at the moment, regardless of these problems that could either be spoken into existence or are actually significant... I'm really happy :) Thanks Momo
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